Hungering for Parenting Techniques - Joining a Chinese Parenting Workshop

20 Oct 2004

Hungering for more of parenting techniques, I plucked up my courage to sign up for the “Happy Mama Class” organized by the Family Wellness Counseling Centre in 2004. It was a 12-week course which was divided into 3 sections, conducted in the month of April, July and September. The most challenging part of this course was that it was conducted in Mandarin. Being a non-Chinese educated person, I felt rather inadequate. But I knew that I should not let language be the barrier to my learning. Moreover, I thought as long as I could understand spoken-Mandarin and converse in Mandarin, I would “survive” through. So, I sought for help. I asked Winnie (Mrs Tie King Tai) if her eldest daughter, Joy Tie, could help recite and record all the contents of the course in cassette tapes so that I could listen and prepare my homework before going for the classes. She graciously agreed. One lesson I have learnt from Winnie was always encourage our children to use their resources or gifts to do charity or serve with generous hearts. Indeed one “struggling mother” (me) was thoroughly blessed by such a generous act of kindness. Of course, my husband and the Chinese-English dictionary also came to my aid as my faithful teachers in those few months of study. I am also grateful to my instructor, Mrs Liong Yuk Choong, and my other class-mates for being so understanding and kind in helping me to learn especially when the Mandarin words were too difficult for me to grasp.

Many people asked me why I would go through that kind of “suffering”. After giving much thought to it, I came to 3 conclusions:
1. Firstly, as an inexperienced young mother with 2 young kids, I would grab any opportunity to learn about how to be a better mother, irregardless of language.
2. Secondly, I want to learn Mandarin.
3. Thirdly, I want to learn from other mothers, about their experiences, successful techniques etc.

The topics were very relevant to me as I have been exposed to the possibilities of communicating with my children tactfully, instead of commanding them. Reminders like “Must try to understand my children’s feelings before I respond to their behaviors” rang a warning bell in times of frustrations. I realized that I need to command respect from my children not from my threats nor punishments, but firm and loving discipline. Besides, I have gained addition ideas in helping to cultivate my children’s interest in learning. In fact, some have been tested already and proven to be successful! The biggest comfort that I received was that knowing that I am not the only mother in the whole wide world who is facing those challenges in motherhood. Phewww! What an encouragement!

Mostly, I am especially grateful to our gracious God, who made it possible for me to attend the whole course, pick up important points to be practised on my children and enjoy the fellowship of other mothers.

I would truly encourage all mothers, young and old, new or amateurs, or mothers-to-be, do take the opportunities to learn how to be the best nurturers for your children, because we are shaping the future generation!